Sunday, June 04, 2006

Does the Aunt of the Year Award Exclude Songs About Pasties?

My six-year old niece Beyonce stayed with us for the last two days. Hilarious fun. Her favorite part of the weekend, she informed me, was when I took her to Toys 'R' Us for her early birthday present. Toys trump Aunt, I guess. She spent an hour there, figuring out the maximum amount of toys she could include in her birthday present price limit. But I can't complain. She's a good kid and really low maintenance -- although I've never seen Tanya's anus clenched so tight for two straight days. Tanya's not so big on kids with flip flops who sometimes shriek-sing when watching The Lion King for the SECOND time in five hours.

I love to hear Beyonce sing, though. She may be destined for American Idol, or perhaps, the Mickey Mouse Club 2010...

One of my favorite moments from this weekend was at church today, when Don Crumb, one of the oldest guys in the whole church came over and planted a big, wet smooch on Beyonce's cheek. Beyonce was a portrait of shock and then, made an unembarrassed gross-out face. Don Crumb likes to flirt. He often asks Russ, when I'm not in the vicinty, "So -- where's your wife?" But he's been taking care of his wife, who's suffering from Alzheimer's, for years. So I think he's entitled to flirt in church on Sundays. Maybe it is gross, but it seems to make his week, hugging and flattering females of all ages, so I try to cut him some slack. He's not perfect and neither am I. There are probably multiple peoples out there making gross-out faces at at things I do, too.

I'm not sure I'm that good of an aunt, though. I consider Kristan, who buys her nieces barrettes with streamers and beads, a really awesome aunt. I on the other hand, let Beyonce make a CD of her favorite songs off my computer and one of her choices was Tom Waits' "Pasties and a G-String." Do good aunts, even deadbeat aunts, let their six-year old nieces listen to music about brothels and loose women?

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