I Feel Like An Ash

Today is Ash Wednesday, that moment on the Church calendar when we all go and think about what we would like to give up over the next forty days, what bad habits and behaviors are holding us back from being the people we want to be. We write these things on slips of paper and watch our pastors dump them into a caldron of sorts and light them on fire. As the smoke rises, we are called forward and marked with the sign of the cross on our foreheads, using the ashes from the caldron. There is some beautiful symbolism in this service. It's one of my favorites.

That's why I was so surprised when Russ called and informed me that today was, indeed, Ash Wednesday. I had no idea. I was busy thinking about dog mange, theses, what to eat for lunch, and if this was the day that Los Angeles was going to get bombed out of oblivion. There's no connection between any of those things, by the way. It's just my hyperlinking mind on paper. There's no way to make heads or tails of it.

I was also thinking about how glad I am that there's a new episode of Lost on tonight and how I really want to watch The Life Aquatic now that I've been writing to the soundtrack for the last few days. But thoughts about ashes and my internal, non physical state of being? Far from my mind.

I began to think of other things I missed. I did not realize it was already March. I realized it has been a very long time since I called my grandma in Illinois. I have not been out for a drink and a chat with some of my good buddies in a while. It has been way too long since I last did yoga and breathed deeply and cleared my mind of outer distractions (even though I always struggle with that last part). I have not dirtied my hands working in the flower beds around our house all year and as a result, there are mounds of dandelion greens and other California nusiances sprouting up. It has been a while since I sent out a card for no reason.

So I'm off to take a walk in the daylight. To look around a little, see what's going on outside around me. Just in case I've been missing it.